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A Year Later!
By Robyn | August 17, 2006
My husband was injured at work over a year ago! He continued to work for a few weeks waiting for a diagnosis. At first we thought it was a pinched nerve or a torn rotator cuff. But after an MRI, both problems were eliminated. This created another problem in and of itself! The insurance company paid for the MRI on his shoulder and now refused to pay for an MRI on his neck. His work had completely ignored his claim of injury and felt that he had just gotten hurt and they were working with him while he got better. So we were doing all of the medical things on our insurance. Almost a month after getting injured, his Neurosurgeon pulled some strings with a friend and we paid for a second MRI on our own. Findings: He had a ruptured disk in his neck. The problem, the rupture was sitting on the nerve that corresponds to his right arm, thus rendering him partially paralyzed with that arm.
Now backed by a diagnosis he headed to the HR department to fill out the necessary Workman’s Comp paperwork. The HR Manager told him that if he filed a report he would be terminated for filing a false report and prosecuted. Well, feeling threatened we contacted an attorney the next day. That was a year ago today!
Here we sit a year later, my husband has been home all day everyday for a year–that is both wonderful and trying! He has had the opportunity to go to every school event that the kids have had. He’s been to every family party, Fourth of July, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving. Most people wouldn’t think that was a big deal, but as a chef he is never home for the “Brunch Holidays”. What was amazingly wonderful was that I found out we were having our fourth baby 5 days before he got hurt, so he was home my entire pregnancy. He was a wonderful help and really got to spend the quality time with the kids that most daddy’s miss out on! It was trying when it came to hard times you have with children. Honestly…he SUCKED at it! He knew it and apologized for it often. I just kept reminding him that I got them one at a time as babies, and he’s getting it all at once with growing, oppinionated, stubborn kids!! He did get better, but just between you and me, he still SUCKS at it! What’s really nice is that now he has the firsthand experience of how hard it is to be a stay at home mom. I think he was one of those guys who thought it was all soap opera’s and bon bons! (I haven’t watched a soap opera since Another World left)
He was always supportive of it though. In fact, that’s one of the reasons I married him. Most of the guys I dated were into the flashy cars and the nice home. Things that required a two income household. It was always something I was adamant about. I had been raised until 3rd grade with a mother who worked, and then she married an amazing prince of a man, and from 4th grade on, she was home. What an amazing difference. I found I didn’t even like going home after school if I knew my mom wasn’t going to be there, even if she was just at the dentist and would be home shortly. It wasn’t home, and I hated it! So there was never a question for me, the trick was finding the guy with the same attitude. He brought it up on our first date–he wanted his wife to stay home with the children! I was sold…I Do!!
Don’t get me wrong, I have worked. We lived in Phoenix and he took a job “promotion”! Sadly, he went from being hourly to being salary. We went from having a paycheck that covered the mortgage plus some, twice a month to a pay check that didn’t even cover the house payment! We were dirt POOR! So I found a job doing data entry at home. I loved it, and it paid really well! A penny a word or something like that! It helped but not enough, so I started watching other people’s children in my home! At one time I had a total of 7 kids! 2 of my own! And we were fine! But my kids were with me, and that was important to both of us!!
Well, back to the point!! My husband had surgery on his neck last July, and then underwent nearly 6 months of physical therapy. He is doing better, but he will never be the same. He is still considered disabled, yet the workman’s comp insurance company is no longer paying him disablity. So we have unemployment! Don’t get me wrong, we are doing fine–I’m just amazed that one year after the fact, here we sit. Him broken-body-confidence-spirit! We have a court date the end of May to figure out a “settlement”! As if it were that easy! I don’t want their money, I want my husband to live 1 day, just 1 day without being in constant pain! I want my husband to be able to walk back into a kitchen and cook! I want my husband to be able to play baseball with his boys, pick up his daughter and play golf with his friends! I want to go back to March 9, 2004 and make him stay home from work that day! Money doesn’t fix that, I don’t care how much they offer!
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